How Does Cognitive Development Look in Everyday Life?
- Sukanksha Bajaj
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
Updated: 12 hours ago
I had just gotten off a call with my student — he had lied to me. It was an excuse to avoid a session. Naturally, he was reprimanded. I then had a follow-up call with the parent to discuss this, and the conversation went something like this:
“Congratulations! Our boy is lying now.”
We couldn’t have been happier.
Why? Because he had lied, and that meant his cognitive skills had improved.
This remains one of my favourite moments. It reminds me that the real wins are not always higher scores or complex debates, but the smaller, everyday behaviours that signal growth.
Think about a time when you lied — a simple white lie or an elaborate one. Now consider the skills involved.
Did my student succeed? Not entirely. His skills are still emerging.
As an adult, I knew my role. I had to teach values and boundaries. Yet, internally, I couldn’t stop doing somersaults. Both truths can exist at once.
Lying and manipulation are, in many ways, developmental milestones. They can begin as early as two years of age and continue to evolve over time. Recognising this broadens how we understand cognitive maturity.
Another student I work with cannot read. His attention span may resemble that of a much younger child. Yet he is incredibly charming. He can make you laugh, get himself out of sticky situations, recognise when a joke doesn’t land and still keep trying.
Over the years, I have been fascinated by how cognition unfolds in real life. I am concerned when education looks at development in strictly linear ways.
I have seen cognitive growth after intervention that is not always reflected in marks—a child begins to understand humour or even attempts to crack a joke. Sometimes, the attempt itself is progress.
The skills involved in humour are complex. Maurice E. Schweitzer from the Wharton School describes humour intelligence as having three components:
Production — generating and delivering humour
Perception — recognising humour
Prediction — anticipating what others may find funny
There is also the role of body language. Have you noticed the slight smile of someone who has just cracked a joke they think is funny? I love the moment when they look at me, waiting for a reaction.
If the situation is serious and humour is being used to deflect responsibility, I need to
remain stoic. This helps them recalibrate.
Sometimes a smile slips through, unintentionally reinforcing the behaviour. At other times, I simply smile and say, “Good one,” which helps build confidence.
As adults, we need to be discerning. Even when we are quietly celebrating these shifts, it is still our responsibility to teach values like timing, accountability, and emotional safety— even when these learning moments arrive in the most unexpected ways.
Not all cognitive progress looks academic.
Often, it first appears in how children negotiate discomfort, protect themselves, connect with others and experiment with influence.
When we learn to recognise these signs, we go from only measuring performance to truly understanding development. The checklist below highlights behaviours that may reflect cognitive development in daily life.
I have compiled a checklist of everyday behaviours to look out for— in yourself or in your child or student. Some of these skills may already be present, while others may still be developing.
Parents, teachers and even adults reflecting on their own growth can use this list to notice emerging cognitive skills.
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