Brains Don't Work Alone!

Sukanksha Bajaj
Apr 23
4 min read

Updated: Jun 12

Let’s meet the cingulate cortex- an important area of the brain

Diagram of the brain showing how the cingulate cortex connects the thinking brain (cortex) and the emotional brain (limbic system), highlighting the brain’s role in linking emotions and learning. — The cingulate cortex links emotion to action — helping us remember experiences that felt rewarding or meaningful. Picture edited from https://www.kenhub.com/en/library/anatomy/cingulate-gyrus

The cingulate cortex connects most of the thinking part of our brain (the cortex) to the feeling part (the limbic system).The cortex helps us think, plan, make decisions, solve problems, and control our actions. The limbic system, on the other hand, handles emotions, memories, and survival responses.

Because the cingulate cortex links these two areas, almost everything we do consciously—whether it's solving a problem, making a choice, or even paying attention—has an emotional layer to it. This is why emotions play such a big role in learning, behaviour, and decision-making.

Why am I telling you all this?

Illustration of a brain and heart communicating; the brain says "You know we’re better when we work together, right?" — highlighting the connection between emotions and thinking in learning and decision-making.

We all believe in evidence — but mostly because even when we get proof, we never account for emotions when we think about learning. Learning is always looked at as a cognitive activity.

Illustration of a heart and brain holding hands, with the heart saying "I’ve been waiting for you to say that" — symbolising the harmony between emotions and thinking in learning and resilience.

But the truth is, learning works best when we are in a state of equilibrium or homeostasis- learning happens best when the brain and body feel safe, steady, and supported.

We need to remember that we are actively making emotions on a real time basis, we have pre-made categories of our experiences in our memory (heard of schema?) that brings up emotions all the time. Some experiences may make us happy and some might activate the fight or flight response.

So what happens to children with LD?

The emotions are amplified because school experiences are rarely positive and can be linked to failure. School environments rarely change and are out of our control. So what happens, the cycle continues and we have a child with low self esteem which finally impacts academics.

Illustration of the emotional cycle of learning struggles, showing how impacted learning leads to negative experiences, emotional distress, and low self-esteem in children with learning differences.

We need to break this cycle and we can!

I admit, this could be a slightly biased view, by the time a child comes to me they have been labelled and shunned. Most schools think it’s the special educators/ learning centers/ resource room’s responsibility to handle any form of neurodivergence, they are referred to and forgotten, no teacher ends up taking responsibility to understand and help the child. It’s a common theme for a child to feel different, an outcast or in some extreme cases isolated. Please take this with a pinch of salt, it doesn’t happen to all children but it is more common than you think.

It’s easy to say we can find a school that can fit our child’s needs. Yes to an extent that’s true but we can’t control every friend, parent, teacher, school, government, culture and worldview to understand and accept our child and our needs. I am not trying to present a grim view, I am aware we are all trying our best especially with the limited understanding we have of the topic.

A common experience for children with learning differences is feeling singled out, especially when a teacher from the resource room comes into class.

One child recalled: ‘I hated it when Ms. X would sit in my class. She made it so obvious she was there for me, and I felt small and dumb.’

This moment reflects a system where support often feels like an embarrassment rather than an opportunity for growth. She ended up hating learning, I had to first create the trust and confidence in herself to learn. Another student used to have panic attacks, it’s a never ending cycle, if we don’t address the underlying emotions first and not as an afterthought.

So what is in our control?

"Advocate, Don’t React in Fear"

I have seen many parents say ‘yes’ to everything a school says because they feel,’what else can we do?’ Understand the child, stand up for them, that doesn’t have to be confrontation, it starts from acceptance that ‘yes’ they might be misunderstood but our duty is not to react but take action according to their best interests.

Many schools constantly say if they can’t cope they will ask the child to leave. If you have been in that position ask yourself ‘is my child doing their best,’ if yes, then the school is misaligned. There are schools, teachers, and communities that get it right, where understanding and support come first. Let’s work together to make sure that’s the rule, not the exception.

No one should be or feel threatened. I have written this for a parent, but the same aligns to adults who are neurodivergent. This is one example but your mantra should be not to react out of fear, a disability/ difficulty is NOT a punishment.

But, it comes back to the same theme, we only have limited power to control the environment but unlimited power to control ourselves and the narrative we build for our child and the single most important thing we can build is resilience!

Give them the capacity to build and fall but never to internalise!